You're Not Worthy
by kendrathebamf
Summary: When Hermione gets raped by Draco, she starts yelling when she's touched, swears, and hates Ron? T for some content in the beginning, that's it though. *Chapter 3 is edited! Please Review!
1. Fighting Will Get You Nowhere

You're Not Worthy

Hermione Granger's Point of View

"Hermione, pass me that fork right there."

"Here," I handed Ron the fork. We sat at the Gryffindor table in the Great Hall. It was the morning meal where everyone talked, ate, and started their day just like any other. I was reading like I always do after I eat. Today I was starting a new book. One I've been meaning to read but couldn't since I got distracted with studies, the Ball committee and, of course, distracted with Ron. Him and I have been flirting unstop ever since him and Lavender ended. It's been quite amazing. I know he loved me, and I loved him very much back. We just never said anything yet.

"So how's committee?" Ron smiled at me.

"It's a bit boring, to say the least."

"That's because I'm not there with you," Ron smirked.

"I'm sure that's the reason," I touched his hand, smiling a bit wider when I realized he didn't pull away. Harry realized it too. He looked at me with a knowing smile. Harry knew about my feelings for Ron. He also knew about Ron's feelings for me. It was comforting to know Harry understood my situation.

"So you two going to the dance together?" a voice called from behind me. I turned to find Draco Malfoy smirking at me.

"Do you care?" I narrowed my eyes at him.

"A bit. A pretty Mudblood like you can aim higher then a Weasley," he tried to touch my cheek but I caught his arm before it landed.

"Don't touch me!"

"I can't help myself."

"Rot in hell, Malfoy." I stood up and walked away. Ron followed me out.

"He's scum, Hermione," Ron said comforting me.

"I just hate how he calls me a Mudblood and then thinks he could score with me," I sobbed. Ron's arm wrapped around my shoulder.

"Well maybe going to the Ball will cheer you up," Ron said shyly.

"How is the Ball going to cheer me up?" I stopped in the hall and looked at him.

"Well I was hoping you could go with me…" he looked at his shoes. "I understand if you don't want to. It was just a thought."

"Of course I'll go with you, Ron. I wouldn't go with anyone else," I smiled as he met my gaze. Both of our faces matching the same light pink.

"Really?" Ron's hand gently grabbed mine. I nodded.

"Then I'll see you at the library in a few," Ron smiled.

"Alright," I started to walk away but then forgot something. "Oh, Ron!" He turned and looked at me. I hushed back over and kissed him on the cheek. "Thanks."

I waited for Ron to show up for our study session that we had every Monday in the library. Ron wasn't that good at any of his classes but that's one of the things I loved about him. He never knew much about anything. He just went on with his life, remembering all of the good. I always told him he should try to remember the important but he always said the moment he's in at that time is the only important thing that matters. I adored that.

"So, pretty Mudblood, I was hoping for a truce," Draco Malfoy smirked putting his hands on my shoulders as I sat alone in the library. I quickly smacked then away. I hated that git.

"Feisty are we? I like it."

"What do you want, Malfoy? I have some things to do."

"Like me?" he placed his hand over my chin, grasping it firmly. I tilted my head away but it was no use. Draco was too strong. He jerked it back so our eyes met.

"Let me go!" I screamed, pushing him back. He grabbed my waist and pulled me to him, pulling my sweater over my head. "Stop it!" It was too late. The sweater was at my feet. Draco's hands wondered everything on my chest. It gave me the shivers. "Get away from me!" I bellowed, slapping Draco in the face.

"Fighting will get you nowhere, Mudblood," he locked me against the table, kissing my neck.

Tears escaped my eyes as I sobbed loudly, hoping someone would hear me. It was no use. The library was always empty in the morning.

This couldn't be happening.

Just when I was giving up, just when Draco hand slid up my skirt, just when I was realizing what was happening to me…

"Get the _hell _off of her!"

Ron ran up to Draco and smashed him to the ground. My Ronald, saving me. "You're going to pay for that, Weasley!" Draco grabbed Ron's arms but Ron smashed him back to the ground as I cried even harder. With my luck, people started filing into the library, gasping and whispering. Some people ran for help. I sunk to the ground, crying my eyes out. It was terrible. This stuff shouldn't happen to me. I was Hermione Granger, for Witches sake! Draco kicked Ron over to a bookcase as he punch me across the face. "You bastard!" I heard Ron yell.

The people who went looking for help appeared again with teachers. Dumbledore emerged from behind the crowd. He grabbed Draco by his collar and practically dragged him away. The last thing I was the voice of a sweet redheaded boy as he touched my cheek.

Then I fell into a long, dark sleep.

"Hermione?"


	2. Ron Is Not My Boyfriend

**Hello! So I was waiting for this story to get some reviews to see if it was good so far. I had a hunch where I'm going to take this story but I'd like for you guys to tell me tings you want to happen in my story. After all, I didn't post this up for nothing! Thank!**

I woke up in my bunk. My eyes wiry from what happened. Ginny, Romilda and Cho were all looking at me. "Hermione! You're awake!" Ginny smiled at me and then turned to Cho. "Go get Ron and Harry from the Common Room! Tell them she's finally up!" Cho stood up and went to get the boys. I really hoped that Ron would see me after all of that. It's a bit embarrassing to know that Ron saw me in just my bra and skirt. What girl wouldn't be embarrassed to have their best friend see them in their bra? It's one of those situations where you can't help but blush when you think about it.

"Are you alright?" Romilda asked.

"I'm just bloody amazing, Romilda," I growled causing her to jump back a little.

"Hermione, she's just trying to be a friend," Ginny defended Romilda's behalf.

"I'm sorry I just - Ron!" I smiled looking at him.

"You're up!" Ron sat down next to me on the bunk and spread his arms out for a hug.

"I've missed you so much!" I hugged him tightly.

"She really has. She said your name at least thirty times in her sleep last night," Ginny giggled as I pulled away from Ron who had turned a bright shade of red. He moved a lock of hair out of my face and I hugged him once more. Ginny, Romilda, Cho, and Harry all shared the same look and then quietly felt the room.

"So I've been saying my name in your sleep?"

"I… I don't really…"

"I find that cute," he grinned. "So how are you feeling?"

"I feel fine. It's just…" I couldn't finish my sentence. Images of what had happened just appeared in front of me. I touched me neck on the spot that Draco had kissed. I felt unloved. I felt so disgustingly dirty. I just couldn't take it.

I screamed at the top of my lungs.

"Hermione, what was that!?" Ron jumped up from the bunk. I just stared at him, taking in his hair, his beautiful eyes, his lips. He was the only one that should be kissing my neck. He was the one only I wanted. Why did Draco have to take that from me?

"I need to shower," I cried.

"Alright, I'll go then."

"No!" I screamed.

"You should really stop with the yelling," Ron said with his hand over his ear.

"Please don't leave me, please," I whispered with tears taking over my face. He walked over and sat on my bunk once more. "I won't leave you, Hermione."

* * *

I shut the door to my bathroom, feeling calm that Ron was there. I knew he'd take care of me. He's always taken care of me. I remember the time he saved me from the mountain troll, the time he visited me in the hospital wing after seeing the basilisk's reflection. I just knew him always going to be there for me, and only me.

I went into the closest shower stall by the door so I was just that much closer to my Ronald. I stepped under the running water and pulled the curtain closed, thinking of Ron the whole time. He's so sweet. I thought about how it was an honor to be in his presence, how it was an honor to be his best friend. More importantly, I thought about how it was an honor to be loved by him. I closed my eyes with a smile across my face, soaping up my neck with the washcloth. Then it hit me. The feeling I had in the library was never going to leave me. This feeling was never going to go away. It had to get rid of it.

It must have been a long time to Ron but it only seemed like several minutes to me as I scrubbed the pain, torture and agony Draco placed on my neck.

"Mione, you've been in there for an hour," Ron's voice came from behind the bathroom door.

"I'm not done right now," I called. "Please don't –"

"I'll be waiting for you out here, Hermione. Don't worry."

"Hermione, it's time to get out already!" Ron shouted. "You've been in there for two hours!"

"The feeling," I sighed. It was a terrible feeling. I wanted to be persevered for Ron but knowing Draco felt otherwise made me sick. I couldn't live like this. I can't walk those halls with a constant remember that he walked them as well.

"What feeling?" Ron shouted again. Cleary he had no patience.

"Him, Ron! The feeling of him on my neck and his hands on my chest! The feeling of his bloody fingers scrambling on my front and back of me! It's sickening, Ron! And it won't go the fuck away!"

"Hermione…" Ron's voice lowered from outside of the bathroom door. I stopped the water and stepped out, grabbing the nearest towel and wrapping it around. I looked in the mirror and saw what I did to myself back of him. I screamed. "Hermione!" The door flung open and Ron ran in.

"It's hasn't washed away yet," I cried as I stepped forward to Ron. His eyes were locked on the two patches of reddened skin that bleed fiercely down onto my chest, disappearing under the towel I held close to me.

"Hermione…" Ron stepped back. "Hermione, why'd you do this?" His voice changed to a tone I've never heard him speak before.

"It has to go, Ronald. It has to leave me…" I stepped forward once more. I fell to floor, clinging onto every last bit of myself so I wouldn't shout again. The tear just flew out. I couldn't control it and I was beginning to learn that you really couldn't control anything in life. It was does what it has to and you have to move on with it. I couldn't move on from this, though.

Ron ran out of the room, yelling like a crazy person as he looked for help. Luckily, Dean and Pavarti were passing by in the hall.

"You, you have to help us!" I heard Ron pant. _Help us? Us has a nice ring to it_ I thought.

"Who?" Dean said with concern.

"Hermione. She's in… the girl's shower room, bleeding wildly!" I heard feet scrambling down the stairs.

Before I knew it, Ron was holding my hand as I was guided to the hospital wing by Dumbledore and Ms. McGonagall.

* * *

"Miss Granger! You're lucky your boyfriend was able to get to the wing in time!" I looked at Ron from the hosptial bed with my blushing cheeks, realizing he was blushing too. "You lost quite a deal of blood." She looked at us holding hands. Why does it seem like one of us was always laying in a hospital bed?

"Madam Pomfrey, Ron is not my boyfriend" Ron squeezed my hand. "Yet."

"Not yet? Why not!?" her hands sprung to her hips.

"Well we, err…" Ron looked at me to find the words. He couldn't find them at the moment.

"In second year, you two were in here. You were frozen and Mr. Weasley here came in a left you flowers!" she point at me.

"You left what, Ronald?" I smiled.

"I just left –"

"And you! You were in here this year and you said her name... in front of your girlfriend! Are you telling me that you two still aren't together? Vidva sva krvav nor. Vidva sva jasen Najprimernejši prijateljstvo to ste v ljubezen! Jaz želeti vidva sva hoteti zaslužiti a clue..." she shouted.

"I understand Slovenian, you know..." I whispered.

"I did what!?" Ron squeezed my hand again, only this time with a lot of force.

"Oh no, you never – and I told him – Oh, dear. I'm sorry. You two talk…" Madam Pomfrey practically ran away from the situation. She was such a nice lady but I was about to have second thoughts.

"You heard that!?" Ron jumped up, letting go of my hand.

"Maybe… No – Yes. Yeah, I did" _Mental Note: YOU CAN'T LIE TO RON FOR YOUR LIFE._

"That's why Lavender and I broke up. That's why… Oh, Hermione, I'm sorry" Ron paced around the room with his fingers scratching his scalp. _You are so cute._

"There's nothing for you to say sorry about, Ronald."

"Yes there is. The whole time you knew I liked you and I was such as ass for not saying anything about it," he sat down again, holding my hand once more.

"You didn't have to say anything. It's not an issue. The point is I like you back," I closed my eyes, my open hand touching the bandages on my neck. There it was again. The memory of Draco. _Mental Note: DON'T TOUCH YOUR FILTHY DRACO-KISSED NECK!_

I screamed. It was beginning to happen involuntarily.

Ron just sat there. He realized the pain I had cursed upon me by now.

"Hermione?" Ron's eyes twinkled.

"Yes, Ron?" I shifted my body to its side to look at him.

"I want you to talk to a consular to talk about..."

"About what?" I asked astonished even though I was positive I knew what he was going to say.

"To talk about the incident. I think it will help you," Ron brushed away the hairs from in front of his eyes.

"W-What? I am not talking about Malfoy…" I sighed. "Malfoy raping me, Ronald. I will not do it." Ron stared at me with a smile across his face. I knew I was going to have to talk to a consular. I knew that Ron was going to make me. That's what his smile was for.

"Fine. You won't go... alone."

"You'll take me to consuling… to talk about me being raped…?" I could feel my eyes swelling up with wetness.

"Sure. It will be awkward but I think it's a good idea."

There they were. The tears.

"I'd love for you to take me to consuling, Ron."

**So that's about it for this chapter. I'm waiting for a little more reviews and then I'll post the next one. I hope you're enjoying it so far. If you want to know what 'Vidva sva krvav nor. Vidva sva jasen najprimernejši prijateljstvo to ste v ljubezen! Jaz želeti vidva sva hoteti zaslužiti a clue' means then google it. It's slovenian (: Alot happened in this chapter. Hermione and Ron are getting MUCH closer, Hermione screams at the feeling or her neck, Ron found out about him saying Hermione's name when he was in the hospital wing... The next chapter's going to be MUCHMUCHMUCH more involved and will include a very protesting Hermione, to say the least. Review me with your thoughts and ideas, please! - kendrathebamf**


	3. This Rubbish Means Nothing

**So I couldn't help myself but to keep writing this story. Since I'm new and I get all excited by the littlest review, I figured I'll keep on doing what I'm doing since some of you seem to like this story enough to tell me to keep going. Thanks everyone!**

"Good Morning. I hope everyone had a nice sleep," I said as I walked into the Great Hall to the Ball Committee. Since I was the head chairman for the group, I had to be cheery or we'll get nothing done. "So since we already have the theme of our upcoming Ball, then we should work on decorations."

In the Ball Committee there was Romilda, Cho, Lavender, Pansy, Fleur, and about twelve more girls from fourth and fifth year that I didn't know the names of. I may be Hermione Granger but I'm terrible with names.

Lavender cleared her throat loudly and stepped forward to me.

"Hermione, the girls have been talking and we think it's best if… well, it's best –"

"Best if what?" I rolled my eyes. Of course Lavender is the one to let me something. She hates my guts. Ever since her and Ron's break up she has done nothing but try to make my life miserable. Too bad she couldn't.

"Hermione, you shouldn't be on the Ball Committee," Lavender said with a touch of happiness.

"And why exactly not?" I questioned. _You have got to be kidding me._

"With you and your screaming at night and the random murmurs in class, we all thought the… the –"

"The rape?" I said bluntly.

"Yes. We thought it 'traumatized' you if a better word. I mean, the proof is written all over your neck and your left eye," she pointed at the bandages. How dare she! So what if I had a melt down and rubbed the hell out of my neck? So what if Draco punched me and my left eye had trouble blinking? So what if I was raped!? I don't think that has anything to do with the Ball, what so ever.

"So you're telling me," I walked closer to her with every word. "That I can't be on the Ball Committee because I was raped?" I yelled the last part in her face.

Is that a tear coming from her eye?

"Hermione, don't yell at me," she cried in a whisper voice.

"Fine, fuck the committee. I'll just see you in the dorm later… oh, yeah. I'll be asleep – Screaming!" I shouted and stomped away. Where's was Ron when you need him?

* * *

I was curled in a ball on Ron's lap while he sat on the couch. We were in the Common Room so I could cry my worries away. It was about quarter to midnight and there was a bucket of half eaten ice cream on the table beside us. It was a good thing we were the only ones down there or else the room would be sparked with rumors.

"It's not fair! I can't be on Committee because of me being raped? How cruel is that?" I cried on his shoulder. Ron smelt of lilacs and vanilla; A combination that soothed me to the core.

"It's completely unfair but there's so much you can do, Hermione. Who needs to be a on silly committee when you're the best student in the whole school, perhaps the world!?" Ron burst into me with enthusiasm. _Can't you ever not know what to say? _

"Thank you, Ron. Oh – thank you so much!" I adjusted my head so my nose brushed lightly against his neck. And there it was again. The neck memory. I couldn't help but cry harder and I realized that Ron picked me up like a princess with my arms tightly wrapped around him.

"Where are we going?" I whimpered.

"I'm taking you to your dorm for the night. It's time for you to sleep," he carried me up the stairs, watching for my legs that wiggled about. I practically asleep in his arms. It was the long and tiring day. Then I spoke without thinking which was very strange. "Since when did you had muscules?" I hoped that didn't sound too shocked, there. Ron laughed as he plopped me into the bed. "None of your business! Do you have to know everything?" I glared at him but then shook my head. "I was just wondering, Ron. You haven't always been the leanest man you know..." Oh dear. I came off a little too bitchy.

"Leanest?" Ron repeated.

"Yes, leanest. It's the only word I could think of at the moment. Unless you want me to say 'sexually appealing'... God - What am I saying? You've always been sexually appealing. I mean, no - No you haven't... I suck at lieing," I directed more to myself then Ron.

"Hermione, quiet down. You'll wake out people," he whispered while looking at the bunks surronding mine.

"Right, sorry. Goodnight, Ronald."

"Goodnight, 'sexually appealing' girl. The not-so-lean one has to go now," he smiled.

"You suck!" I whisper-yelled. With that, Ron stood up and left the dormitory.

I rested my head on my pillow as I slid my fingers under it. At first I felt the soft cushions but there was something else there. It made a crackling sound as my head came down.

There was a note.

* * *

I could feel my fingers trembling as I went to rip open the envelope had had my name written in a fancy cursive hand. Right then and there I knew one thing - It couldn't of been Ron.

_Ms. Granger _I read to myself.

_I think that it would be best if you did not attend my Defense Against The Dark Arts class for the remainder of the year. It would distract my teaching and others learning with your emotions. I truley mean this in the most kind-hearted way possible. If you have any problems with that then I'm sorry but I will not change my mind. _

_Have a good rest of the year. _

_Severus Snape_

Oh, hell no!

* * *

"When defending yourself against the dark arts, you must always remember to -" Snape stopped at the sight of me bursting through the door.

"Hello, Severus!" I growled. Ron looked at me with confused eyes. He looked at the letter in my hand. "Here, you can read it, Ron." He grabbed the paper from my hands.

"What the bloody hell is that about!?" Ron glared at Snape who seemed speechless at the moment. That was rare. The classroom started to fill up with whispers.

"What is it, then?" Krabb said thickly. One of the defects of Draco being exspelled is that his 'gang' is now happy and they talk to other people... which sadly included me.

"Ms. Granger. I think that it would be best if you did not attend my Defense Against The Dark Arts class for the remainder of the year. It would distract my teaching and others learning with your emotions. I truley mean this in the most kind-hearted way possible. If you have any problems with that then I'm sorry but I will not change my mind. Have a good rest of the year. Severus Snape," I shot him a look.

Shouting, yells, and nasty comments were made throughout the room like "What the hell!?" "That's not fair at all!" "You suck, Snape!"

"Hermione, see what you've done? I didn't want this to happen..." Snape rubbed his temples.

"Screw the letter Snape! And screw what you 'didn't want to happen' too!" I shouted to him, walking forward as Snape stepped back. "This rubbish means nothing!"

"Hermione, step back," Snape said.

"Make me," I whispered devilishly. The shouts around the room grow. I was on up. Snape wasn't going to take away my education because of Malfoy.

Snape grinned back at me then moved closer.

"What are you - AHHHHHHHH!" I screamed when he touched my neck. "Don't touch it, don't touch it!" I grabbed his arm and pulled it away. Ron stood up and pulled me back as I cried on his shirt.

"What's your bloody problem, Snape? You call yourself a teacher? Making Hermione cry? You should be ashamed of yourself!" Ron yelled.

"Yeah" "I'm never coming to this class again!" "Worst teacher ever!" people said as they packed their books and stormed out of the classroom behind Ron and I.

"Where too?" Ron sighed as I was still in his arms.

"Dumbledore's office."

**This was such a short chapter, but it had some big events in it. Like the note from Snape, huh Hermione? I wonder why Snape made this note. It couldn't just be because of her behaviors lately. There must be more... right? I'll be updating on Saturday so hold on! Please review or message me! - kendrathebamf**


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